


A Little Love and Sympathy

by Waynesgrayson



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, M/M, Post-Book(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 21:37:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3426437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waynesgrayson/pseuds/Waynesgrayson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec hates asking that question, a question he knew Magnus was most likely looking to avoid, but he knows it's a valid one. One they need a solid and sure answer to. Raising a child wasn't something they could take lightly, not in any aspect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Love and Sympathy

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off Cassandra Clare's 'Born to Endless Night' description.  
> "After a warlock baby is abandoned on the steps of the Academy, Magnus rescues the child - and brings him home to his boyfriend, Alec."

Magnus returns the wave of the last student walking out of the hall. His smile - while genuine- is a tired one, matching the concealed dark circles under his eyes.

The door shuts behind her, breaking the buzzing silence of the empty lecture hall with a soft click. It was almost be hard to believe that only ten minutes ago there had been a heated - although healthy - discussion that turned his classroom into a very good impression of a Clave meeting.

He could still hear the rushed voices of his students talking over one another, correcting and laying out their facts and theory's with airs of finality and confidence. Their open mindedness making the discussion a rather pleasant one.

It made him proud and exasperated all at once.

His smile fades as he leans back against the desk, his hands running through his hair, playing with a few strands. He stays that way for a moment before sighing. He drops his hands to his thighs, and looks around the empty hall.

He enjoys teaching. He really does. Especially, since it means he's able to expand minds and give more knowledge about his and other kinds.

To show this generation of Shadowhunters that they're not at all the monsters they're made out to be.

For the most part, his students are great. They're open minded, interested, and have an ability to listen longer then ten minutes before their eyes gloss over. Naturally, there were exceptions. Students mouthing off and saying words they don't fully understand the meaning of with ill intentions.

It was a good thing Magnus has been around longer then most of their family trees with the mouth to prove it.

For the life of him though, he'll never understand why the Council thought night classes were a good idea.

He stands up and collects his papers and belongings, muttering to himself as he straightens up the area for the teacher in the morning.

\--

He tightens his scarf as he walks out the Academy doors. There is a chill to the air and Magnus lets out a breath and watches as it appears before him in the form of a while cloud. Almost like the look of a line of smoke after a deep puff of a cigarette.

He tightens his coat and scans the area around him. Only a few people are out this late. A hunched figure across the street waking fast with their head down. A couple walking leisurely and talking quietly. He waits for them all to pass by him before he makes his way down the long, almost elegant stone steps of the Academy, slipping out of the cover of glamour and joining the night owls in their late night stroll. 

He makes it half way down the street before a tingling in the back of his mind causes him to stop. In a different situation he would be telling himself it was nothing. Possibly something, but most likely nothing too dire or important.

But this wasn't a different situation. His brain was practically screaming at him to turn around and go back where he came from.

Magnus frowned at the nagging feeling taking over his brain. He could ignore it, but he had a feeling that it would only become worse, and he wasn't in the mood to figure out how annoying the sensation currently stimulating his brain could become.

So with hopes of distinguishing the feeling, Magnus turns around and slips back into the Academy's glamour. Slowly he makes his way up the steps, looking around as he goes.

Once he's a few steps away from the Academy's doors Magnus sees a bundle out of the corner of his eye. He startleswhen he sees it, wondering how he missed it earlier.

He frowns and starts walking over to it, glad that the tingling in the back of his mind was subsiding with every step.

He stops when he's directly in front of the bundle, and he sees that it's a blanket covering something.

He really hopes it isn't a bomb, or something equally destructive. He isn't sure how he would manage to explain that to his boyfriend - him finding and then possibly being injured from a bomb or an explosive along those lines. But then again weirder things have happened, and he's had to explain almost all of those situations in great detail. This couldn't be the worst thing, and it was Idris. While the city wasn't perfect, Magnus liked to think that something as lethal as a bomb or their equivalent would be caught immediately.

So crossing bomb out of his mind, Magnus decides to find out what's inside the blanket.

He crouches down and slowly reaches out. He's cautions as he moves back the blankets layers, taking his time in revealing what's hiding underneath.

\--

The night is quiet for once.

There are no urgent text messages or phone calls demanding his presence, and the fire has been dead all day long. The city outside is fairly quiet. The only sounds are of cars on the road, and the wind whistling through the leafless trees. Not even the always moving and seemingly never quiet warlock is breaking the spell like atmosphere tonight. Though that was due to the fact that said warlock wasn't home.

Magnus had left hours ago to give his weekly lecture at the Academy leaving Alec to entertain himself for the the evening. Which was just all right with Alec. It was true that they young man wouldn't pass up an evening alone. Even though he enjoyed his boyfriends company immensely, Magnus had a way of making his pastimes rather difficult to do the majority of the time.

Like the time Magnus magicked all of his books to storage so that he could properly admire Magnus's new pair of pants.

Or, more specifically, admire how they looked thrown hastily to the floor.

So far Alec has been spending his evening on the couch with a blanket over his body and a book in his hands. For hours he's been in a trance. Sucked into the words before him and getting lost inside the colourful visions in his minds eye, the images changing and shaping together as he reads every word.

Very simply, he's lost to the world he lives in.

Lost to such an extent that he almost doesn't hear the crackle and pop of flames bursting to life.

Distantly he does hear the sound of flames rising out of nothing, the sound nothing more then a possible trick of his mind, but rather then ignore it Alec does look up. He's taken aback when he sees the fire almost roaring with life. Moving and jumping with an excitement so big Alec spares a second to worry about the things above and around the fireplace.

After that thought Alec quickly stands gathering his book and blanket and throwing them onto the couch. He makes his way to the fire place and carefully reaches in, pulling out a slightly burned piece

of folded paper.

Opening it Alec recognizes the hand writing as Magnus's and he gives a small smile only to have it wiped off his face a second later.

_Get a message out to Catarina and have her come to the loft. It's urgent._

He can feel his heart pick up and pound at a wild pace. Worry filling him completely as his mind begins to wander towards horrible and sick scenarios that would cause Magnus to write such a vague note. Luckily for Alec his attention is taken away from his minds tortures when the flames begin to sink into a soft and cozy like flicker. He runs to the kitchen pulling open drawers in a search for paper and something to write with.

Once he secures both he scribbles out, _Magnus needs you immediately. Come to the loft. It's urgent. -Alec_ , and runs back into the living room to place it in the heart of the fire.

“Catarina Loss” he says with an authoritative air.

The flames react to him immediately, once again jumping up and licking at his skin, seemingly melting the paper as it sends off his message to his desired person.

Not even a moment passes before he's reaching back into the fire and reading, _I'm on my way._ written in beautiful scrawl, a far stretch from the shorthand scribble she uses at the hospital.

He sighs as he pockets the note and his panicked thoughts resuming as he begins pacing in front of the dying fire. The only calm thought in his swirling mind was that Catarina was on her way.

\--

When an insistent knock begins shaking the door frame, Alec all but throws it open and allows a worried looking Catarina in.

She looks worried, but it's hidden fairly well. Alec knows she's seen and has been involved in many situations like this involving Magnus. After all, It came with the best friend territory. He understood how she must be feeling very well. Jace wasn't exactly Mr. Play-it-safe when it came to anything and Alec was constantly on his toes with the other man, worrying about his safety even when he shouldn't have to. Alec had no doubt that this never got easier for her, just like it never did with him and Jace.

She walks past him, stuck in her little bubble, and Alec isn't sure she's seen him or if he even registered in her radar. He watches her as she walks well into the apartment, only turning around when he closes the door a bit louder then needed.

“Alec! I got your message but it was fairly vague. Is everything all right?” she says, her eyes are wide and expecting. Alec all of a sudden feels bad for her and his total lack of helpful information, wishing he had something to tell her.

Alec sighs and shrugs. “I don't know. Magnus just asked me to get you here.”

Catarina's expression falls and her shoulders sag a bit. She looks more confused then before, though her worry was still buzzing around her edges. “Oh.” she says, though it comes out more like a sigh.

“But I'm sure he'll be here soon and will explain everything.”

She nods. “Yes, I'm sure you're right.”

“I'm sorry.”

She smiles at that, and Alec is glad that it's more fond then covered up impatience.

“Oh, it's nothing to be sorry about. Don't worry.”

They fall into a moment of silence. Alec couldn't say it was awkward, but it wasn't comfortable. He and Catarina didn't know each other perhaps as well as they should. Both really only gathering information about the other through Magnus, and with a sudden realization Alec decides that he doesn't like that fact.

Before the silence could be deemed rude, Alec went through the basics. Offering her something to eat or drink, and is thankful when she accepts his offer of a drink. He also manages to get her to settle on the couch once she had her drink. Her standing about made him even more anxious.

Taking in a breath, and hoping that their interaction won't be forced or idle, Alec asks, “So. How was work?”

\--

It wasn't very long before loud stomps echoing throughout the apartment building silences their conversation. Alec feels pleased with himself, their conversation going off without any small pauses or the feeling of obligation. It was nice and he can't help but hope that they'll talk again.

When the sounds grow closer Alec stands up from the couch, reaching into his back pocket for his seraph blade as he walks to the door. He can feel Catarina approach him from behind. Her gaze is flicking between him and the door watching with a sharp intensity. Alec isn't sure if he's just imagining it, but he swears can feel the energy of the room change from behind him, and he spares a moment to wonder if Catarina was doing that, or if it was just the noise shattering the atmosphere.

He taps his fingers along the blade one after another. His feet are apart and his eyes are trained on the door; the stomps seemingly endless as it rattled the door. Alec moves closer to the door and closes one eye, the other peering through the peephole. He feels himself relax when Magnus appears in his line of vision, but frowns at the green pile he's shifting in his arms.

At the sound of a key sliding into the lock, Alec takes a few steps back and places the weapon back in his pocket. He looks at Catarina and she visibly relaxes when he nods.

The door opens and is closed forcefully, the bang echoing throughout the building.

Alec stares at Magnus's back, shaking his head.

“Was all that noise necessary?”

Magnus whips around, his expression a bit too wild for someone who just spent the last few hours talking at teenagers. He smiles at Alec before moving his gaze to Catarina.

“Oh good, you're here!” he says, his voice full of relief. 

Magnus hurries over to her and tries to hand her the bundle in his arms, but Catarina pays no attention to the offered blanket and instead pins him with her gaze and places a hand on his shoulder. The gesture is nothing short of a question. It was clear to Alec that she needed to know if Magnus was okay before she even thought about whatever he was trying to present to her. The worry she had before is back and this time there is no trying to hide it. It's blatant, and Alec feels like he's trespassing on a private moment.

Despite his eager attempts at getting Catarina to even just glance at the bundle in his arms, Magnus does take a moment to silently reassure her that he's okay. He nods. The movement is jerky and almost forced looking, as if Magnus didn't believe that he was okay. Alec sure didn't think he was, but there must have been something in his eyes because Catarina does look down.

She looks back up at Magnus almost immediately and he nods encouragingly, holding out the bundle closer to her. She reaches out and moves the blankets around. She's cautions though, her movements slow and steady as if she didn't quite trust this to be a good thing.

At her gasp, Alec takes a step forward but can't see past Magnus, his back effectively blocking whatever he has from him. Alec wants to walk right up to them and see what they're both seeing but he knows that wouldn't be the best idea. So he stays just a few steps behind, trying to will the strong need to know away.

Magnus and Catarina carry on their facial expression only conversation for awhile and it takes a lot less time then Alec is willing to admit for him to become impatient.

Unable to hold back his curiosity for another moment Alec asks, “Magnus? What is it?”

Thankfully Magnus turns to him and Alec feels a little ashamed at how much relief floods through him. Especially after seeing Magnus's expression.

It's pure open emotion and the look of so much going on inside his eyes and features is almost too much for Alec to take. He takes a step forward and can't help but feel a bit hurt when Magnus takes a step back.

“Can't I see it?” he frowns.

Magnus gives him a smile. It's fake and sad and it's over quick, but Alec holds onto it all the same. He turns his back on Alec once again, and Alec is barely resisting the urge to walk up to him and hold him from behind. Suddenly, the blanketed mystery didn't seem as important, not when Magnus looked as old and haunted as he claims to be sometimes.

“Magnus?” Catarina questions, sounding so much more tired then she did before Magnus arrived. She looks shell shocked; her blue skin looking pale and her eyes almost impossibly wide and full of tears.

Before Alec could take a step in their direction he sees Magnus passing the bundle to Catarina. The exchange is slow and it was now very obvious that whatever it was, it was fragile.

Once the bundle is secure in Catarina's arms, Magnus turns. Without the bundle Magnus looks decidedly smaller. He looks lost and unsure and it's a look the doesn't suit him. It's unnerving, and if Alec knew how to make sure he never looked like he does in this moment ever again, he'd gladly sell trade and barter any part of himself to make that happen.

Magnus's eyes are red and filled with tears, and once he's is in arms reach Alec pulls him into a tight hug. Magnus clutches onto him with a vice grip and leans against him causing them to stumble back a step, but Alec catches them, and soon Magnus is held steady. His head is resting on Alec's shoulder, his face half hidden in the curve of his neck. Alec tightens his hold on him when he feels the wetness of tears land and run down his neck, soaking into his shirt.

After a few minutes of Alec shushing and whispering to Magnus, the warlock pulls away. Without skipping beat Alec is wiping the trails of the fallen tears off of his face.

“Magnus?”

The look he receives makes him want to bring Magnus to him and never let him go. It's a heartbreak he's never seen on anyone before and Alec has to stop himself from pressing more about the nights mystery.

“I couldn't do it.” The words are small but his voice is rough. Alec doesn't stop himself from reaching out and grabbing one of Magnus's hands, squeezing it softly.

Alec frowns. “Couldn't do what?”

Magnus shakes his head, tears landing on his cheeks from the movement.

“I couldn't leave him there in the cold.”

Alec didn't think it was possible for him to feel anymore confused tonight, but he was just proved wrong.

Shaking his head a few times he asks, “Couldn't leave who?”

“I was leaving the Academy, and he was just laying there in this bundle on the steps. I-I couldn't leave him.”

It was like his brain was the sea during a storm. The waves viciously lapping and crashing against each other without mercy, and his mind was the little boat just trying to get to land, but the sheer power of the waves kept pushing him further and further away from where he so desperately wanted to be. Magnus's words were his dawn. The sun came out and the storm soothed.

For about a second before the whistling winds came and he sea raged again.

Alec could feel the colour drain from his face and his heart pick up. It's beating almost painfully against his ribs, the sensation suffocating. His heartbeat roared in his ears, echoing throughout his chest and brain.

“Magnus,” Alec says, cautious. Not entirely sure he wants an answer to what he's about to ask. “did you bring home a child?”

He's met with silence. It's very clear that Magnus doesn't want to answer him. Chances are he doesn't have much of an answer to begin with. Part of him doesn't blame Magnus. The Angels knew that if the roles were reversed that he probably wouldn't have one.

He wasn't angry. Though he's frustrated with how stubborn and unwilling Magnus is being with information. He could also feel suspense well up in his gut, and the undeniable feeling of disbelief wrapping around his heart.

“Magnus-”

“I did.”

“Did you steal him?”

That question certainly catches him off guard, and for a quick moment the look of sadness and heartbreak are gone and in place is confusion and the tiniest hint of amusement.

“What? No, I would never!” Magnus says, frowning. “I said, I found him on the steps of the Academy.”

Alec looks at him for a moment before looking over at Catarina. He feels a pull and wants to walk over and see with his own two eyes that inside the green blanket is a baby. The other part of him wants to walk into their bedroom and sleep for the next week, and judging by the hollowed look of Magnus's face, he could use that kind of sleep right about now.

Instead, he squeezes Magnus's hand before letting go and cautiously stepping towards the nurse and the baby. His eyes are focused on Catarina as he steps slowing, like one would if approaching a scared or skittish animal.

Catarina is watching him closely. The same intense expression she had given Magnus's is now pinned on him and he feels somewhat glad for it. Her gaze is strong and intense, and Alec finds himself holding onto that. Once he's close enough she moves the bundle out for him. Catarina has a sad smile on her face, but a spark of awe in her eyes and Alec feels himself calm a bit. With baited breath Alec reaches out slowly and pulls back the blanket. Tears immediately fill his eyes when he sees the truth, and he can't help but inhale sharply, surprised, as if he didn't know he was going to find a baby underneath the blanket.

“He's -”

“A warlock.” Magnus finishes softly, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around Alec's waist.

All Alec can do is nod in awe. There was no doubting the child’s race. His skin is an olive green, noticeable - but could easily be considered a trick of the light or a trick of the mind if seen briefly, and when Alec's hands come up to caress the child’s head, he feels the small beginnings of horns on either side of his scalp.

“He's beautiful.”

He looks up at Magnus and he sees that his eyes are shining with fresh tears, but the look of complete adoration in his eyes is clear as day. Seeing that look in Magnus's eyes as he watches the baby makes Alec's heart clench. There was something decidedly beautiful there among the wild hair and the fact that Magnus looked like he hasn't slept in days.

Looking back at the baby the hand griping his heart squeezed again causing a burst of affection to flood his veins. He meant what he had said. The baby was simply beautiful.

Magnus squeezes Alec's shoulders and places a kiss on the back of his head. He sighs and Alec looks back at him, a look of question in his eyes.

“We can bring him to the Clave tomorrow. I just couldn't leave him.”

Alec nods his understanding, but he isn't fully sure he's ready to understand the feeling of 'no' that fills him when Magnus mentioned the Clave. He knows that it's what they have to do, that it's the Law.

“I know, and I'm glad you didn't. You did the right thing.”

Watching Magnus, Alec knows that there is something else he wants to say, but before he can a small cooing noise interrupts their conversation and the three of them watch as the baby stirs in his sleep, little grunts escaping his throat as he turns in Catarina's arms. He doesn't wake, but they watch him intently for a little while longer. The noises enough to freeze them to the spot.

Alec feels his heart go out to him. Sadly, he understood why the baby was abandoned like he was, Magnus's own story springing to mind and he finds it harder to breath as the emotion grips his throat.

Now he very much understands why Magnus is on overdrive emotion wise. He's relieved though, that he was left somewhere he was bound to be found sooner rather then later.

Alec can't help but be glad it was Magnus who did.

“I wanted you here to make sure the baby was okay.” Magnus says to Catarina, lightly squeezing Alec's shoulders.

Alec doesn't know why those words shattered the atmosphere, but they did. Maybe it was the way Magnus was holding him. Maybe it was they way Magnus said them. Alec knew Magnus was concerned for the boys health and safety. They all were. But his words came out so soft and so intimate that the clenching of Alec's heart went double as he said them.

The energy of the room in now charged. Filled with anticipation and a conversation to come.

Still looking at the baby, Catarina nods. “I'm going to need a few things.”

Magnus walks out from behind Alec and guides her down the hallway. “Your wish is my command, Madam.”

Alec watches as they walk into the spare bedroom. Magnus snapping his fingers over and over until Alec couldn't see his fingers under the wave of gold and silver sparks. Things like a crib, a small table, and what looked like medical supplies began to appear around the room.

He follows them but stops at the doorway, leaning against the frame, feeling that it was best if he kept his distance and let Catarina do her job.

Catarina takes a seat on the edge of the bed, smiling at the sleeping baby. She looks up and says something to Magnus that causes him him to still. Alec tilts his head to the side and almost asks her to repeat what she said, but seeing the almost haunted look on Magnus's faces stops him.

Backing away, Alec makes his way to the kitchen, pulling out glasses and putting the kettle on. Moving for the sake of moving. Glad to have something - no matter how insignificant - to do.

He can't explain the rush of emotion flowing through him, all he knows is that it's hammering at his heart causing his head to cloud. He tries to still his hands as he puts the kettle on, but to no avail they shook. Especially when a poof of baby supplies appears in the far corner of the counter.

He balls his hands into fists and places them on the counter, leaning forward against it. He lets out a long sigh.

After a few minutes arms wrap around his waist. He leans back as Magnus nuzzles the curve of his neck.

“She send you away?” he asks, a smile threatening to break through his frown.

A nod. “Said my hovering was making her work difficult.”

Alec huffs out a laugh and reaches back to pat Magnus's head.

“Don't worry, the baby is in good hands. She'll let us know when we can see him.”

They stand in silence, waiting for the kettle to whistle.

\--

Once their drinks are made, Alec settles himself on the couch. Magnus had insisted on making Catarina something, and Alec tries not to laugh as their conversation carries over into the living room.

“Magnus, I already had a drink.”

“You're our guest. I can't let you become parched!”

“You just want to see the baby.”

“You are one hundred percent right, I do. You're so smart, no wonder I like you.”

When he reappears moments later he places his drink on the coffee table in favour of stretching out and placing his head in Alec's lap.

It was obvious that Magnus had a lot on his mind. That the wheels in his head were moving a mile a minute. Running through different scenarios and word choices. Discarding and contemplating possible ways to break his thoughts. The what if's and the why not's weighing on his mind so heavily that they easily jumbled and he could no longer keep track of them properly. Going and going until he's grasping at smoke.

Alec decides that he won't let him sit and suffer any longer. He puts his cup aside and starts running his fingers through Magnus's hair, playing with strands and softly scratching his scalp.

Magnus sighs, closing his eyes at the attention.

“You want to keep him.” Alec says quietly.

“I do.”

Alec closes his eyes at his words. He knew they were coming, but he wasn't going to pretend that knowing made it easier to hear.

“Magnus-”

Magnus sits up and turns so he's sitting crisscross on the couch facing Alec. The movements were quick and somehow graceful and Alec is momentarily worried that Magnus will black out from moving too fast.

“No. Don't say my name like that,” Magnus says, shaking his head. “like this is just some stupid idea that will only cause trouble.”

Alec sits up and turns to face Magnus. He can't deny that he feels shocked that Magnus would say that, especially about this situation. “I didn't mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?”

Alec looks away from him and around their apartment instead, taking in their belongings. Against his better judgement he starts imagining it messier. Toys scattered around, a play pen in the corner. A diaper bag hanging from the back of one of the bar chairs, a baby blanket thrown over the couch.

Magnus reaches out and places two fingers on Alec's chin, and slowly turns Alec's face until he's facing Magnus. His eyes are down, not wanting to look Magnus in the eyes. But all it takes is two taps of Magnus's fingers to change that.

“We would love him like he deserves.” Magnus's voice is soft. “We could give him a family unlike anything he would ever get out there.”

Convincing. Magnus's tone and words are convincing, and Alec wishes he could just jump head first with him into this idea but he knows that that isn't the smart things to do. There is taking risks with their lives and in what they do. But it was something entirely different to risk something involving an innocent life.

Alec sighs.“It's not that I don't think we can't give him that, it's-”

“Then what's the problem?”

“Are we ready for for a baby?”

Alec hates asking that question, a question he knew Magnus was most likely looking to avoid, but he knows it's a valid one. One they need a solid and sure answer to. Raising a child wasn't something they could take lightly, not in any aspect.

Magnus looks at him with his mouth open, almost as if he was slapped. He's clearly looking for something, anything to hold onto. His eyes though, are quickly losing that hopeful spark and Alec hates himself for being the cause.

“Is anyone?” Magnus tries, but his voice is already filled with defeat.

Alec places a hand on Magnus's cheek, stoking it slowly with his thumb. He smiles sadly when Magnus closes his eyes and leans into the touch.

\--

Catarina walks into the room immediately gaining their attention. Alec let's Magnus go, and the warlock is up and at her side in an instant.

“Is he all right?” Magnus asks, not even trying to seem composed. Alec walks over more slowly, his arms folded over his chest and his eyes darting back and forth between the two.

She smiles at them both in turn. “Yes, he's perfectly healthy. He's very lucky you found him when you did.”

Magnus let out a sigh, closing his eyes as he reaches out for her hand, squeezing it.

“Thank you.”

She nods. “Of course.”

Magnus walks away from her to Alec, developing him into his arms. The moment of relief stretches on before Catarina let's out a long sigh, and gives them both a heavy look.

Alec swallows. “What is it?”

“I'm just curious as to what you plan to do next.”

Magnus grabs Alec by the arm and moves them away from Catarina.

“Will you not think about it?” Magnus says, and gone is the hopeful spark and in its place is a fire like force. As if he was challenging Alec to question this. Alec wasn't expecting that and he finds himself reacting to Magnus's words with the same intensity.

“Is now really the time to have this conversation?”

“When else is there to have it?”

They stare at each other for a moment with a strong fierceness. The feel of the room is quickly latching onto all the tension and when Catarina sees that they won't break until one gives in, she steps forward.

“You're going to have to bring him to the Clave no matter what you decide. Though it might be best to have a plan in mind before that happens.”

Her words cause Magnus's expression to flip and become pleading. His eyes are now wide and open and if Alec didn't know any better, he would call Magnus innocent. Childlike almost, though the sharpness in his eyes didn't dull, looking into Alec and ripping his resolve easily. As if it was nothing but wet paper.

Alec can feel the fighting fire in him die. It being doused out and now slipping down him like water, landing in a puddle at his feet.

He's seen Magnus like this only a few times. Stubborn and hopeful. It was a very dangerous mix, and Alec didn't want to be the one to step in that landmine.

So he nods. “Of course. I'll think about it.”

The smile Magnus gives him is enough to make him feel better, but it doesn't stop the intensity of their situation from clouding his head once again. He feels dizzy and a bit sick and wants nothing more then to clear his head. He barely registers Magnus walking back over to Catarina and he can't be bothered to follow the mumbles their conversation is becoming to his ears.

All he knows is that he needs air, and that he needs it now.

Alec heads to the door, grabbing and pocketing his cell from the side table. He stops as he grabs his coat and turns back to look at Magnus and Catarina who are both watching him with concerned gazes.

“I'm just going for a walk. I'll be back later.”

He doesn't wait for a response, and is soon running down the stairs and rushing out into the cool night air.

\--

Once outside he properly does up his jacket. It's a lot colder then he thought it would be, and he shivers as a breeze sweeps past him, crawling up his sleeves, chilling his neck. But he wasn't about to go back for something warmer, so he was stuck with his standard coat.

For a quick moment he thinks about going back inside and staying with Magnus. It didn't matter that he had a close and trustworthy friend with him, part of Alec knew that he shouldn't be leaving Magnus to deal with this on his own. That it was unfair, irresponsible and when looked at at a different angle, pretty damn childish.

He turns to face the building, looking up towards their floor as if this would somehow change his mind and he'd be opening the doors and settling back in with the three warlocks. That wasn't going to happen, and he knew that. He simply can't handle the situation and he knew another minute in there and he'd be more useless then he already was. It was possible he'd blackout from the heavy feeling of the air. It was a good thing Catarina was a nurse.

Taking a deep breath Alec turns away from the building and starts walking down the sidewalk. The streets are fairly illuminated, but there is still something in the air. Something that makes a person look over their shoulder twice, or switch sidewalks. The city was as safe as it was ever going to be, but that was Idris; somehow the safest and the most dangerous place one could be.

Safety. That was what he needed, and while the loft was now Alec's safe haven and has been now for a very long time, there were just some places that took the first place spot under certain circumstances.

He pulls out his phone and searches for Isabelle’s name, pressing call when she sees her icon picture. It's of her looking off into the distance as if contemplating the world and it's existence. The picture was a serious one, but after the click sounded she dissolved into a laughter so great it made it impossible for him not to join in, the both of them laughing until they couldn't anymore because of the pain.

Alec spares a second to smile at the memory.

After three rings a grumbled sleep filled “What the fuck.” is his greeting.

“Hey,” he says, suddenly filed with the overwhelming feeling to spill his guts right then and there. He shakes his head. If this was his reaction to just her voice, he was seriously reconsidering his idea of seeing her.

“Alec?” Isabelle’s voice is on alert now, and Alec realizes he hasn't said anything for a moment. “Is everything all right?”

He nods despite her inability to see him.“Yeah, yeah. I was just wondering if it was all right if I came over.”

There is a beat of silence and Alec knows she's trying to figure out what's wrong with him without having to ask again. He can almost see her slow head tilt and the squinting of her eyes.

“Of course. You want me to call Jace?”

“If you could, yeah.”

“Okay. Clary?”

Alec thinks about it for a moment. Ever since the war between the Nephilim and the Dark Shadowhunters ended, the relationship between himself and Clary became something more then he was ever expecting. 

It was a gradual build up, and he could honestly say that it was something he wasn't expecting. While they were friends ever since they made up that day in the Institutes hallway, and it did grow to a point where they were comfortable with and around each other, they weren't exactly each others top few people. All that changed one day when Clary sought out his company specifically. Alec still isn't sure if it was just Clary being hurt over Simon's absence both physically and mentally and needing someone other then Jace or Isabelle (who was just as hurt), or if she truly wanted to expand their relationship. Not that he doubted her sincerity. Not anymore anyway.

It took a bit longer then he was sure she was expecting, but after a while she became one of his go-to people. He enjoyed her company and couldn't deny that it was nice to have some else close to talk to.

They also become quiet the team out on the battlefield, and sometimes he found himself back to back with her in the midst of a fight.

But she wasn't what he needed right now.

“No, not this time. I just need my brother and sister.”

\--

Before Alec could raise a hand to knock the door is opened. Standing there is Isabelle in her pajama's, looking just as tired as she sounded on the phone and very less then impressed. Behind her is Jace, who is also looking rather tired, but it was obvious he was trying to hide it by standing straight and making his face look alert and aware.

For the first time that evening, Alec realizes how late it is.

“An hour, mister! You called me over an hour ago!” Isabella practically yells down the apartment's hallway.

Alec ducks his head sheepishly, looking at his sister from under his bangs.

“Sorry.”

“You had us worried.” she says before pulling him inside and slamming the door with enough force to shake the frame. Alec suddenly felt very sorry for her neighbours, and wondered how she avoided complains. Maybe all it took was one glare from her for them to turn the other way and ignore her to the best of their abilities.

“I said I was sorry.”

“And sorry isn't going to stop me from getting worry wrinkles!”

\--

Once the usual pleasantries are taken care of, the room becomes an almost eerie quiet. Isabelle and Jace are staring at Alec with such an intensity Alec swore he could feel his skin crawling from the attention.

After a moment he sighs, giving in.  “Magnus brought home a baby.”

Their reactions are instantaneous. Isabelle's face is open and wide, her eyes looking like they could pop out of her head, and even though Jace has a better check on his emotions, his eyebrows are reaching heights Alec never thought possible. If the situation were different Alec would have laughed.

“A baby?” Isabelle says, disbelief written all over her face.

Alec nods. “Yes. A warlock baby boy in fact.”

“Like an alive one?”

Jace smacks her on the arm, giving her an incredulous look. “Why would he bring home a dead one?”

“Well I don't know! Who knows what he needs for his warlocky things.”

Jace stares at her for a moment, his mouth slightly open, squinting. “I'm telling Magnus you said that.”

Throwing her arms in the air Isabelle says,“For all you know, he'd agree with me!”

“I seriously doubt warlocks use live babies for their spells.”

“Exactly. They use the dead ones.”

“Oh my god.” Jace groans, leaning back in his seat, his hands coming up to cover his face.

“So,” Isabelle says, turning back to Alec, looking a bit too pleased with Jace's reaction. “What's the problem?”

“Problem?”

“Yeah,” she nods, “Can't you bring him to the Clave tomorrow? Is it really that terrible keeping him for one night?”

Alec laughs, “Well if you're anything to go by, then yes it is.”

Isabelle crosses her arms and glares at him, though the corner of her mouth is upturned.

“Whatever, I was a delight. Still am.”

“Whatever you say.” Alec smiles before sighing, “It's not the 'keeping him over night' part. I'm actually really glad that Magnus brought him home.”

“Then?” Jace prompts, sitting forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Magnus doesn't just want it to be for the night.”

Isabelle leans forward, as if Alec's about to give her the hottest gossip of the year; her face open and eager.

“He wants to adopt him.”

Isabelle squeals and leans forward to crush her brother in a hug.

“Oh my angel, Alec that is amazing!”

Alec looks past her and sees Jace smiling a wide open smile, his feature bright.

“Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that!”

Isabelle lets out a laugh as she pulls back, her eyes sparkling. She ruffles Alec's hair before turning to Jace. Another squeal leaving her throat.

Alec can't help but smile as he watches the two laugh with such joy, But just like before the suffocating feeling of uneasiness grips him, and he can feel his smile slip and his eyes widen. His heart thumping against his rib cage wildly.

“Alec?” he hears Isabelle say, but he doesn't look at her. He can't. Not when he knows that she'll be looking at him with an expression so much like Magnus's.

Not being able to understand why he can't be happy for what they have the potential to do - to have.

“Hey,” she says, rubbing his shoulders. She turns back to look at Jace and they share a concerned look. “what's wrong?”

“I just-” he falters, trying to swallow around the words that feel so thick in his throat. Alec wants to kick himself for sounding so weak, so unsure, so lost.

“Just what?” Isabelle's voices is quiet, and her eyes are looking into his like she's searching for the words floating through his mind, stamped in his soul. Like she could just reach out and pluck them into existence.

“I don't know if I can do it.” he confesses, his voice only a whisper.

“Do what?”

“I don't know if I can,” Alec says, gesturing about. “be a father.”

“Alec, how could you say that!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.”

They speak at the same time. The looks of concern are gone, and in front of Alec is an array of emotions all moving across their faces so fast that if Alec could freeze them and flick through their expressions like photos on a cell phone, he'd see just how much his words affected the two.

Jace is standing now with his hands up in front of his body. There is a clear look shock on his face, almost a matching expression to Isabelle’s. As if he too didn't understand why Alec could feel that way.

It makes Alec feel worse.

He sometimes forgets that he can bring out the emotion and expression of Jace like he was born to do it. That years before Clary and the year that followed, and before Isabelle could crack the code that was Jace, Alec already had a full pass; even if he didn't know it at the time, and it wasn't like Jace was exactly forth coming with that sort of information.

But seeing them both standing in front of him with looks of shock and disbelief written so openly on their faces, Alec wishes he could take back his words and never let anyone else know them.

He knows that his feelings can't be bottled up forever, even if it would make things a whole lot easier. That knowing his luck he'd spill it all out to Magnus, and given their current state of tense, Alec figures his siblings finding out first is the best way to go. After all, he didn't need to confess this all in the wrong light and hurt Magnus more. Angels knew that would only end in train wreak.

“Alec,” Jace says, tilting his head, “What are you talking about?”

Alec stands. He runs his hands through his hair, and he's just resiting the urge to pull. He feels hot and overwhelmed and he starts to pace in front of his siblings.

“What do you mean, 'what are you talking about'? Think! Look at our father. How do we know that I won't end up being like him?”

“Because you're twice the man he is, Alec!” Isabelle says, on the verge of yelling.

Alec lets out a hysterical laugh.

“What about Max? I couldn't protect him. How could I possibly protect this child when Max was just a

child himself?”

Isabelle stares at him, her shocked gaze slowly turning to anger.

Alec could almost feel the heat of the moment freeze up and turn to ice.

“Sit down.”

“Isa-”

“Sit your ass down right now.” she says, punctuating each word through clenched teeth.

He does as she says, taking a seat next to Jace. He wants to fold in on himself, to disappear into the couch cushion and become one with the lost change and crumbs. But before he can, Jace grabs one of his hands, squeezing it gently.

“Now you're going to listen to me real careful.” Isabelle says, “You know damn good and well that Max was not, and is not your fault. We were all there.”

“But-”

She waves his attempt away.

“I want to be mad at you.” Isabelle says, wiping a tear off her cheek roughly.

She doesn't look at him. Instead, she's playing with the sleeve of his shirt, attention solely on that.

“I get why you would think that, but you're wrong.”

“Izzy-”

“Don't.” she says now pinning him with her gaze.

“You will be an amazing father. You want to know how I know? How we know?” she says, nodding towards Jace.

Alec swallows, trapped in her gaze. He nods.

“Because you raised us,” she says, now smiling, her eyes softer, “And we turned out okay.”

\--

Alec rushes up the lofts stair's and shoves his key in the lock.

“Magnus?” he calls once inside, winching as the door slams shut. He stands still for a moment, waiting for a response. When nothing but silence greets him, he makes his way through the apartment, taking off his shoes and coat.

Catarina is gone. The only proof of her visit is the third cup on the kitchen counter and the various baby supplies she requested. He feels bad that he left without giving her a proper goodbye, especially after she helped them like she did.

He sighs and picks up a plastic feeding bottle. He thumbs at the nub before shaking it, hearing nothing sound from inside.

He knows that he'll see Catarina again and will have time to apologize. It'll just have to be a very good apology considering his attitude when he left.

Standing in the kitchen, Alec looks at the plastic toys mixed in with the spices, the box of diapers off to the side and the container of formula in a yellow and purple tin; all set off to the side nicely and innocently.

The sight of these things no longer have the same effect as they did hours ago. He feels a warmth spread through his body, and he decides he likes how it looks.

That it looks right.

\--

Eventually, he makes his way to their bedroom. He takes off his clothes and drops them on his way, a trail of clothes leading from the kitchen to their bed until he's wearing nothing.

Magnus is laying in the centre of the bed on his side, and Alec knows he's awake. His cat eyes blinking slowing in the dark, watching him.

“Hey.”

A small grunt is his response and Alec finds himself smiling a little bit.

His smile grows when Magnus reaches out for him, his finger tips just touching his stomach. His body responds to the touch, sending a wave of goosebumps down his arms and legs.

He grabs the hand and is pulled into bed.

The next few minutes are them moving and getting comfortable, and soon Alec is being held against Magnus's chest, fingers tracing patterns and words along his spine and arms.

They lay in silence for a while. How long, Alec isn't sure, but he knows that he could fall asleep at any moment, but the tension in the room is keeping him somewhat alert. Though it doesn't stop him from relaxing under the attention of Magnus's hands.

“I thought you weren't coming back.”

Alec frowns at that, blinking slowly. “Why would you think that?”

“You were gone for a long time.”

Alec looks up and sees that there are still tears in his eyes. He moves his hands to Magnus's face, slowly thumbing away the tears that fall.

Alec doesn't waste a moment. He moves his hands to cup Magnus's face and taps his cheek twice with his thumb. Magnus responds, and looks Alec in the eyes.

Alec can't hold back his smile, or the tears threatening to spill onto his cheeks. He strokes Magnus's cheek for a moment before leaning forward and kissing him.

It's soft and it's slow, and when Alec pulls back he whispers against Magnus's lips,

“I want us to be fathers.”

It takes Magnus a moment to process what Alec is saying, but the moment he understands he smiles one of the most beautiful and breathtakingly fragile smiles Alec has ever seen from him. It makes Alec feel sad, knowing that his answer had the potential to shatter Magnus.

“Really?”

He's scared about this. He's even scared about how scared he is because it's like nothing he's ever felt before. Knowing that such a small and innocent life is in his hands the way it is.

He's also scared about the way the Clave will react. He doesn't see there being a good enough reason to stop him and Magnus from adopting the baby, but he and the Angels know that it'll be a long and hard fight. Constantly having to prove to them that this is worth it, that it's the right thing to do.

But just like Isabelle and Jace reminded him, he wasn't alone in this. That they, and most importantly, Magnus would be there every step of the way.

And he couldn't deny the excitement this now filled him with, and he knows for a fact that he wants this. That he wants to start a family with Magnus.

“Really.” he says, and Magnus leans down to kiss him again.

He thinks about laughing when it takes Magnus about three seconds to completely change the meaning of their kiss, but decides he has better things to do now.

Magnus is kissing him as if he would never have the chance to again, their lips sliding over each others in fast slick kisses, nipping and biting. Magnus pulls back and licks slowly up Alec's mouth, their gazes locked together. Alec let's out a small whine when he tried to move forward, but is held down. Magnus laughs and begins trailing kisses from Alec's jaw to his throat, sucking on the spot where his pulse is thumping out of control. 

“Magnus, if you don't get back up here and kiss me-” Magnus presses one last kiss to Alec's pulse point before moving up and pulling Alec's bottom lip between his teeth.

Magnus sucks on the flesh until Alec reaches up and pulls his hair, done with the teasing. Magnus let's go and Alec presses forward, effectively capturing his mouth, nails digging into Magnus's back as a warning. Magnus licks at his mouth again and Alec allows Magnus's tongue to slip in and move beside his own.

It doesn't take long for Alec to move and position himself over Magnus, straddling his hips as they kiss. He moans when Magnus began massaging his hips, moving him slowly back and forth over his arousal.

Magnus arches off the bed when Alec thrusts down hard, exposing his neck. Alec leans down and presses several butterfly kisses along his jaw and neck, moving down to his chest. He bites down a few times, pulling on small sections of Magnus's chest, eliciting a few gasps from him.

Alec continues rocking his hips backwards and forwards. Magnus's hands are on his hips, pushing him down as he moves. They're both panting, harsh breathes in between sloppy kisses. A small keening noise comes from the back of Alec throat and Magnus pulls his head down, breathing hot against his ear.

“That's it, come on.”

But before Alec could say or think anything, a loud cry from the other room breaks the atmosphere immediately. They still their movements, and Alec can't help but laugh when he realizes it's the baby crying.

“Well, there goes our sex life.” Alec says into the curve Magnus's neck.

Magnus laughs.

\--

After a moment they both get up and walk to the baby's room. Alec can't help but smile when he sees the room illuminated with the looks of space. Stars twinkling and flying across the walls and ceiling, colours of purple and and blue swirling around planets and galaxies.

His attention is taken away from the room when Magnus reaches in and picks up their crying baby, softly cooing at him until he breaks through the cries and captures the baby's attention. Alec walks up behind him, and watches as the baby shift and fuss in Magnus's arms.

Magnus bounces him a bit, just slowly moving him around and talking nonsense to him, asking dumb questions, keeping the boys round and wide eyes on him.

“Please let me do your daddy. At least one more time.”

Alec's own eyes widen and he turns to look at Magnus, smacking his arm when he sees a shit eating grin in place.

“Do not.”

Magnus laughs quietly, “My apologies, dear.”

\--

“Papa, I can do it myself!”

“You can?”

“Yes!”

“Are you sure?”

“Papa, I'm nine years old. I can do it all myself.”

“Everything?”

“Everything!”

“My goodness!” Magnus says loudly, the exclamation making it's way to Alec who's standing in the kitchen. Alec's filling Elliot's backpack, making sure he has everything he needs, including his lunch box and last nights homework - completed and checked twice over. He feels a bit nervous, allowing him to do this alone. But after talking it out with Magnus, they reached the conclusion that it was time. After all, Alec didn't know how much longer he could take Elliot's disappointed huffs and looks. Their boy was nothing but dramatic, then again, Alec wasn't expecting anything less.

When done with Elliot’s bag he walks into the foyer. Magnus looks at him, an impressed look on his face.

“Did you hear that, dear! Our little Elli can do everything!” he says throwing his arms in the air.

“Everything!” echoes Elliot, a look of pure joy on his face.

Alec can't help but smiles as he helps Elliot put his bag on.

“I think that means he can do our taxes.” Magnus says as he zips up Elliot’s coat, adjusting his scarf.

Alec gasps and places a hand over his heart. “Oh perfect! Thank you, Elli.”

Elliot makes a face and looks at Alec, “But daddy, I don't want to do taxes.”

“But I though you could do everything.”

“Everything, but not taxes.”

“Ah. Okay.” Alec says nodding. He looks at Magnus. “Everything but not taxes.”

Magnus nods back. “ I understand.”

Alec stands back as Elliot and Magnus watch each other. Magnus's cat eyes slowly fading away and Elliot follows suit, his olive skin changing to match Magnus's skin tone, and his horn disappearing altogether. Once Magnus looks him over and is certain his glamour is sit and in place, Alec and Magnus crouch down to his height, their expressions serious.

“Are you sure you want to walk to school alone?” Alec asks, watching Elliot’s face for any signs of nervousness or hesitation.

Elliot nods his head enthusiastically, “Yes.”

“Okay. And you know what you do if you're lost or need help?” Magnus says, pointing to his backpack.

“Use the phone in my bag, and call you or papa for help.”

Magnus nods. “Very good.”

“Can I go now?”

Magnus laughs and leans forward, kissing Elliot on both cheeks.

“You're a free boy, Elli.”

\--

They watch as their son walks down the block. There's a little bounce in his step, clearly pleased with finally being allowed to make the trek to the Institute alone.

“So,” Magnus says, turning to Alec once their son is out of view. “time for a proper 'good morning' don't you think?”

Alec snorts. “You're such a romantic.”

“I know.” he says, a wide grin in place. “I believe that's why you married me.”

Alec smiles softly. “I believe it is too.”

“So is that a yes?”

Alec shakes his head, but can't stop a wide grin from spreading. “Only if you promise to do me good.”

“Oh, darling.” Magnus says, pulling Alec away from the window. “When do I not?”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Maria, I really hope this turned out okay. After all, they are your babies.
> 
> No beta. All mistakes, which there obviously are, are all mine. 
> 
> http://waynesgrayson.tumblr.com/


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